I know, I know.....another Sandra Lee thread

But she crossed my mind today and I was reminded of this culinary monstrosity. The final cake was almost a foot tall! How do you slice it? How do you serve it? Is this reality? I have so many questions.

Two shots of vodka, you said?

She was always free pour.

I miss the old lush.

LMAO. I looooove Aunt Sandy ❤️ She looks so pretty in that clip and I love how she just starts laughing out of nowhere. Goddess.

That recipe is so impractical, though. How would you bring it anywhere/cut it/eat it?

She does look gorgeous in this clip!

She doesn't seem to know the difference between "icing" and "filling."

R5 or between jelly and jam! One cannot get hung up on such things in Aunt Sandy’s kitchen. You just have to roll with the punches, laugh it off, and take a big drink of whatever she’s having.

Oh lord - all the link everywhere. She is so entertaining for all the wrong - yet right - reasons. You gotta love Aunt Sandy.

I love this broad. What's she up to these days? Bring her back, Food Network! Or actually, preferably even, if she doesn't already she should have her own YouTube channel.

As a gayling I never wanted to play with the other kids during the holidays. I wanted to help the moms in the kitchen. You so know she would be an absolute blast to cook holiday dinners with as she got hammered. She’s such a ray of sunshine ☀️

R10 you embody the average DL user. We salute you!

She and her shitty recipes need to make a comeback now that she's dumped the Italian scumbag.

So her version of a 24-layer cake has only 8 layers? And, it uses a boxed mix? That's some pretty lazy baking, if you ask me!

Sandra Lee is a nobody here in the U.K., so when I saw her Kwanza cake recipe, I thought it was a comedian doing a (bad) satirical comedy short. It was one of the weirdest creations I've ever seen; it's hard to believe it's real.

Too bad that old booze bag broke up with Gov. Andy. If she were still around, maybe he wouldn't be in so much trouble for harassing his employees and other women.

I'm still baffled at how this bitch and Rachel Ray got shows on Food network.

I'm sure that her nephew Bryce who would show up every now and then is gay...I'd love to see how he turned out.

A lot of her recipes were not easy to make nor inexpensive.

If you wanna see another abortion in dessert form, I give you her Noel Cake.

r15 She's our Fanny Cradock.

[quote]A lot of her recipes were not easy to make nor inexpensive.

Forget the recipes--her OTT tablescapes were outrageously pricey.

[quote]I'm sure that her nephew Bryce who would show up every now and then is gay...I'd love to see how he turned out.

She was on Celebrity Family Feud with him a year or two ago. He was very...flouncy.

When I first read the title I thought it said- another SARA LEE thread- Frozen cakes 🎂 etc

I loved the old lush, she brought fun to the Food Network! And unintentional camp! And after she realized that we loved her for it, intentional camp in her holiday specials!

Thank you, OP, I'm home with a fucking broken leg and it's a rainy gray day outside, I'm going to binge on youtube Semi-Homemade episodes, and watch a person who gets all her calories from cocktails try to cook food.

If you want some fun, her entire oeuvre is on Discovery+.

I wish someone had preserved the wonderful TWOP threads about Aunt Sandy.

I still desperately want to know how she entertained as First Lady of New York State.

Did she run down the craft store and make up a totally new themed tablescape every time Cuomo had politicians over? Did she put the official Governor's silver and china on plastic chargers that matched the color scheme? Did she serve anything edible along with the sugary cocktails?

R23, binge-watching away.

BITCH JUST SPRINKLED PACKAGED "ITALIAN SEASONING" OVER A FUCKING HUGE PRIME RIB BEFORE CHUCKING IT IN THE OVEN!!!

R28, don't ya love that? When I watch her, I always imagine a lit cigarette hanging from her lip while she cooks. It completes the white trash picture.

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This was a legendary episode - I wish there was a better copy. Surely she’s in on the joke, right?!

I want to love her, and I do think she's in on the joke, but a friend of mine used to work for her (now-defunct) magazine and said she was a nasty, horrid piece of work who was loathed by the staff.

She sends her love. I love how Aunt Sandy now refers to her “Fam’Lee”. I think we are all part of that special genealogical line!

This article is LOLOLOLOLOL:

She always had some hideous cocktail recipe to share. She also loved to showcase her table settings. What - - did she have a mile-long butler's pantry with thousands of different dishes? Her shortcuts were hilarious, like prechopped, packaged onions, celery, etc. Any dessert she made had far too much sugar involved. She represents diabetes on steroids to me.

R36, I believe the hideous cocktails were the point. She threw some crappy food together quickly (semi ho-made), just so there was plenty of time to make and drink a cocktail. That’s why I love her.

I could seriously watch her all day. She’s so fun to watch. I love how she bulldozes over this Martha chick when Martha suggests that maybe that’s enough alcohol. Nobody stands between Aunt Sandy and her vodka ❤️

"I'm sure that her nephew Bryce who would show up every now and then is gay..."

Just one look at his pencils will be enough proof.

She really brings the Christmas spirit.

Here's Bryce...............

According to her IG post above Bryce is her nephew. Apparently, her brother is John Paul (I’m embarrassed I researched this). I guess there IS a gay gene that runs through family trees!

Bryce has a girlfriend of four years? (See R33)

[quote]I still desperately want to know how she entertained as First Lady of New York State.

They weren't married, so she wasn't the First Lady.

I wonder what her gay brother John Paul looks like?!

WHET her niece, Danielle--infamous from the roller coaster "I love you, Danielle!" episode?

I want to spend Christmas at the Lee house.

Has anyone seen this documentary? I’m so curious now.

There’s her gay brother on the left.

R13, wow, her desserts are NOT my style at all.

However, I think she's marvelous.

What I love about her is that she pays for everyone’s college in her family, if necessary, from siblings to nieces and nephews.

Aunt Sandy has got some coins!

Sandra Lee is no Fanny Cradock, that's for sure!

There was some dance mix of Sandra Lee shit in the early 2000s. I had a copy but lost it. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

How did I forget this classic? Naan from pillsbury pizza dough... who knew it was so easy?

All of her catch-phrases <3 Beeyootiful.

I do think she and Andrew were cute together. He seems like such a stick in the mud. He needs someone fun like Sandra. I really think it's his loss.

"Half-Baked with Sandra Lee"

I'm NOT into this Sandra Lee BITCH.

I'm team MARTHA & INA.

R18 Gosh, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse she added the twizzlers for decoration.

I also read that she was impossible to work for. That sweet, tolerant frau schtick is just that. And BION the Kwanzaa Cake she is notorious for wasn't even her idea; it was one of her assistants that she was so nasty towards.

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That big gloppy Noel Cake - made with store-bought spice cake, store-bought frosting, and red licorice...

and all decorated with green food dye...

Her grandmother was a drunk who couldn't cook either

There is nothing worse that canned frosting. Yuk.

r66 I think Dream Whip is close. (Powdered mix to make fake whipped cream.)

Sandy was big on recipes that used store-bought, unfrosted cake layers. I've been shopping for groceries for 50 years, in several parts of the country, and have never once seen a store that sold such a thing.

Nothing has ever made me laugh and gag at the same time like watching her make "meatloaf."

r70 and "your regular GROSH-ry store"

Isn't it ironic that she basically died from long term anorexia and alcohol abuse? (No carbs whiskey!) To make cakes and sweets all day and then kill yourself over Bobby Darin by not eating? She was pretty until near the end. That's just an accident of nature. Her sons were badly damaged by her and she never could stop puking. Sandra Dee Light. RIP.

Auntie's guide to becoming Cher:

Feign speech impediment when saying "whole life"

Flip wig

Poke inner cheek with tongue

Use puff pastry to make pastry puffs

R69 lol. Who could fuck up meatloaf?

R65 and the cake support layers still on the cake, topped with a sugar cone! Totally impractical.

I can’t find it but there was one cocktail where she literally just poured the drink into a glass and added ice, and that was the whole recipe.

Ok I found it. I loooove her personality so much. She’s so bubbly and positive.

In r69's link, when she pulls the meatloaf out of the oven, it looks like a miscarriage.

You gotta love someone who makes a cocktail tree out of plastic cups. You go girl!

[bold]GLUG GLUG GLUG[/bold]

Because of R25 (who is the worst person on DL), I just signed up for Discovery+ thinking I'd casually revisit the nightmare, and how many seasons could she have done anyway? Six? Seven? No. There are FIFTEEN seasons of Semi-Homemade and FIVE of Money Saving Meals. I had no idea that she dragged it out for twenty or so years.

So here we go... Episode 1: Tapas and Wine

Ten seconds in and she's already said, "today's theme: an open-house Buddha bar" and "I'm going to teach you to decorate with sari fabric." Because what could possibly go better with tapas?

R82 you have to watch every episode now and post a summary for us. The DL demands it.

[quote]R14 So her version of a 24-layer cake has only 8 layers? And, it uses a boxed mix?

She also wants you to use “chocolate-y chocolate chips.”

As opposed to unchocolate-y chips, I guess.

I'll be accused of lying and F&Fed into oblivion if I do, R83. Who would believe this is a tapas menu?

Sesame chicken drumettes (equal parts honey and bbq sauce with a drop of "extremely strong" sesame oil)

Sassy sangria ("a great way to use up wine that's been sitting maybe on the counter or the tabletop for a couple of days")

White wine coolers (sugar, wine, and a can of peaches slopped into Moroccan tea glasses)

Black bean quesadillas (can of refried beans, jar of salsa, bag of shredded cheese; served with store-bought guacamole with big glob of sour cream mixed in)

Oriental pork wrappers (Jimmy Dean sausage!)

...and a cheese plate (she went to school in Wsconsin and cheese is fntastic)

[quote]Sassy sangria ("a great way to use up wine that's been sitting maybe on the counter or the tabletop for a couple of days")

As if she'd ever have leftover wine.

Found on Primetimer (successor to TWOP): Aunt Sandy's slow-cooker "bread pudding" recipe:

[quote]She put chunks of cinnamon raisin bread, canned apple pie filling, sugar, packets of maple brown sugar oatmeal, eggs, cream, and rum extract into a slow cooker. The overly sweet horror of that was beginning to sink in when she made a topping. She used powdered whipped cream (Dream Whip) and mixed it with ginger ale and poured this over the cooked "bread pudding."

Aunt Sandy is laughing at all you haters while counting all that cheese she's made. She says, eat my semi-homemade pussy bitches!

"[R66] I think Dream Whip is close. (Powdered mix to make fake whipped cream.)"

Fun fact: When I was in grade school, one day the teacher started talking about chemicals and additives in our food and the dangers of processed food (yes, this was in California). She held a contest, told everyone to go home and rummage through the kitchen cabinet, and find the packaged food with the largest number of ingredients and chemicals.

The winner was, [drum roll], of course, a box of DREAM WHIP!

aigs

aigstract (extract)

cookie spray (cooking spray)

expresso

fiend herbs (fines herbes)

Gargonzola

gernish

Grandma Nyay

japoltay (chipotle)

marscapone

ulligant

Episode 2: Dinner Party

"My girlfriend Sandy has this great line about whipped topping that you make at home. She calls it whip-n-chill. I think it's so funny."

I played it back twice to make sure I hadn't misheard and missed the funny part, but that quote is verbatim.

[quote]vinegar-ette

Jeff Mauro says this too. And some of his other Food Network cohorts say "holla-PEEN-yo." Drives me nuts.

[quote]"My girlfriend Sandy has this great line about whipped topping that you make at home. She calls it whip-n-chill. I think it's so funny."

Jell-O used to make a product called Whip-N-Chill.

I want to have R91's babies.

Aunt Sandy was born in LA and grew up in Washington State and Wisconsin, but she sounds more like she's from Philly or Bawlmer.

How did she come to be known as “Aunt Sandy”? I love it but I’m just curious.

^ I think that got started on TWOP (Television Without Pity).

She has a metric crapton of nieces and nephews. That’s what they call her.

Some posters called her that on the old Food Network boards, which pre-dated TWoP (at least to me -- I didn't discover TWoP until the FN boards were closed and I had to find somewhere else to bitch). She was reviled on the FN boards, as was Rachael Ray.

Aunt Sandy's Dump Thanksgiving

I just had a terrifying thought: the Jazzy Vegetarian adapting her recipes to make them "healthy." And then writing some songs about them.

Look, she grew up on food stamps (she talks about it openly and also advocated very loudly about cuts to SNAP) and was basically left to raise her brothers and sisters. Then she invented some chintzy decorating tool for fraus when she was in college and made a shit-ton of money selling it on infomercials and QVC. Respect that, if nothing else.

r104 And then she married and divorced The Wallet, and then hooked up with The Ladder (Cuomo.)

I mean, she used to do Halloween specials where she dressed up in Bob Mackie gowns. She was living a lot of drag queens' best life.

Sandra Lee Rapes Thanksgiving

R97 sounds pretty standard Pacific Northwest to me.

[quote]Because of [R25] (who is the worst person on DL), I just signed up for Discovery+ thinking I'd casually revisit the nightmare, and how many seasons could she have done anyway?

I'm sorry. The rabbit hole is deep. You can treat yourself to watching the adorable Adam Berry hunt ghosts while a series of purses fall out of Chip Coffey's mouth.

She had two other short-lived shows, one called Sandra's Restaurant Remakes (she did a decent amount of cooking on that one) and Taverns, Lounges, and Clubs, which was more of a travel show. I'm not kidding when I say the latter was actually a great format for her. She got to travel around and drink and crack jokes with patrons and bar staff.

The layer cake recipe in the original post came from the Restaurant Remake show.

This video is fun. Crystal is her jam. And more shout-outs to her gays. I love Aunt Sandy!

The Noel Cake - Chocolate and spice cake together? The taste would be overwhelming; adding that awful canned frosting could only make it even nastier.

And of course Aunt Sandy’s signature dessert. KWANZAA CAKE!

I think I’ll be making this for DL’s Holiday Party this year.

I didn't realize she'd converted to Judaism for the Wallet.

[quote]This video is fun. Crystal is her jam. And more shout-outs to her gays. I love Aunt Sandy!

Honestly? Her house was (I assume she lost it in the "divorce" from Cuomo) pretty tasteful.

Why is a successful woman reduced to the men she fucked? I've never heard of Sandra Lee, but Mario Cuomo is no prince or prize. He's not even rich. Just a cheating lying corrupt schmuck who is slightly LESS hideous than his grotesque PIG younger brother. On CNN.

Sandra seems dumb and blonde and not very talented as a cook. All the more reason to praise her success! Who doesn't love chemicals?

[quote]See Inside Sandra Lee’s New York Estate That 'Smells Like Cookies And Feels Like Heaven' | PeopleTV

For cookie sniffers!

r117 She wasn't with MARIO Cuomo, moron.

"Why is a successful woman reduced to the men she fucked?"

Well it DID take about 100 posts before we got onto her love life!

R117 is why they hate us.

Being an ancient white racist misogynist fag is why they hate YOU R121! Get your facts right.

How do YOU know she wasn't with Mario Cuomo R119? They all look alike.

Mother always loathed her and called her a slut for putting her tits on full display all the time. Then as soon as she found out about her breast cancer, she did a total 180.

She was with Andrew Cuomo, not the ugly dad Mario...sources say that he made her sign a confidentiality agreement.

They all look alike. Cuomos.

S1, E5 — Desserts and Drinks, aka Dustbowl Memories

[quote]My grandma used to make clothes; make beautiful high-fashion things that stars would wear to the Emmys and to the Oscars.

[quote]She would like to put on these elaborate productions and she would bribe us with mashed bananas and maple syrup all over them. So we would put on these little plays and little skits as children.

[quote]I’m sure it was absolutely adorable, and all we ever wanted were these fabulous mashed bananas. So I grew up thinking bananas were always just a treat instead of an everyday item.

And now she’s apologizing to a college friend’s family for the time she and their other friends drank rum punch on the beach all day and then “fell asleep literally in our plates at the dinner table with this girl’s family.”

Just starting: Sexy Soiree. She just left the pantry with canned Chinese vegetables, canned peaches, and canned chicken and now she’s showing us the old jars, bottles, and vases she has filled with water and red food coloring.

[quote]Just starting: Sexy Soiree. She just left the pantry with canned Chinese vegetables, canned peaches, and canned chicken and now she’s showing us the old jars, bottles, and vases she has filled with water and red food coloring.

Please keep us posted on this sexiest of Sandra soirees!

It seemed so promising, R129, but it was the most boring episode yet. The blood bottles didn't even make it into the tablescape.

Salad Chinois — a can of chicken, a can of Chinese vegetables [I had no idea this even existed], and a bag of coleslaw glued together by a Simply Sara-sized glob of mayonnaise, soy sauce, and dry ginger. The resulting mass is dumped onto a plate of lettuce and topped with a can of chow mein noodles and a can of Mandarin oranges.

Syamman with chive sauce — syamman inexplicably broiled on a glass plate and decorated with "very gourmet" stripes of sauce made from tartar sauce, mustard, sour cream, and chives. Can also be made with lox. She refers to lox as "them" and "those," as if she's talking about locks.

Tropical rice — boil-in-a-bag rice mixed with tropical trail mix from a gas station checkout.

Fondue — cookies, frozen pound cake, and fruit "in its own pedestal!" dipped into chocolate chips melted with butter and heavy cream. "These are my husband's favorite cookies. He LOVES packaged foods, so it's pretty much a marriage made in heaven!" Yeah, get back to us on that one.

Bellinis — canned peaches blended with their syrup, plus Korbel.

"My tablescape is so ro'manic and so beautiful, we might not even make it upstairs."

Her advice for a ro'manic proposal? Hide the ring in Bellini sludge. When she gets to the bottom of the glass, "guaranteed tears." That part is in the video below.

I love the way she says lllllemon.

R94 Thanks for ruining my evening by reminding me how much I detest Jeff Mauro!

[quote]Just starting: Sexy Soiree. She just left the pantry with canned Chinese vegetables, canned peaches, and canned chicken

Wait until she hauls out the canned potatoes to make potato salad.

In one of the later seasons, she had a recurring bit where she'd have fans come onto the show and semi-homemake a recipe of their own--which were all more complicated that her schtick. One of them was a (fairly cute) guy, and she made a comment like "Oh, we need to find you a wife!"

Gurl, please.

[quote]Wait until she hauls out the canned potatoes to make potato salad.

Or the ice cream treat that looked like a baked potato.

R135, Martha Stewart did the ice cream spud in 2006 -- Sandy's Youtube video is dated 2009, so I assume she was ripping off Martha rather than vice versa (as if!). Don't know what Martha's excuse was for doing this.

r134 Remember the tall black woman who looked like a drag queen?

"Tropical rice — boil-in-a-bag rice mixed with tropical trail mix"

You made that up!!!

Please say you did...

I could say I made it up, but I’d be lying.

Tropical Rice:

1 bag boil in bag white rice

1/4 cup dried tropical fruit mix

1/4 cup dry roasted peanuts

Prepare rice according to package instructions, adding dried fruit halfway through the cooking time. Remove rice from heat. Stir in fruit mixture and nuts. Transfer rice to serving bowl.

That’s bad even by her standards.

Here's the recipe with the canned potatoes, which I tried once when I was a poor, starving student. They were one of the most disgusting things I've had in my mouth.

[quote]Salad Chinois — a can of chicken, a can of Chinese vegetables [I had no idea this even existed], and a bag of coleslaw glued together by a Simply Sara-sized glob of mayonnaise, soy sauce, and dry ginger. The resulting mass is dumped onto a plate of lettuce and topped with a can of chow mein noodles and a can of Mandarin oranges.

And don't forget, she called the Chinese lanterns she used for her tablescape, "paper balloons". You cannot make this shit up.

Also don't forget "My Buddha, she's faux" -- I don't remember which culture's cuisine was being destroyed in that episode but I'll never forget the quote.

Ah, yes, when I think of the tropics, I think of Chinook salmon.

That "eggy potato salad" requires not only canned potatoes, but "2 hard-boiled eggs (from refrigerated or deli section), chopped."

The expression "She can't even boil an egg" was invented for Aunt Sandy!

Wiki says she’s been breast-cancer free since 2016.

Does that mean she’s in the clear next year?

S1, E7: Candy

She starts by explaining how easy it was to create a "Barbie kitchen" for Miss Stephanie's candy party. Sure, it's easy when you already have Sexy Soiree's blood bottles all over your kitchen. In this episode, the red water has been diluted and now it's Barbie pink. Her other tip is decorating with glass dessert bowls filled with dried red beans.

Car-mull candy is microwaved with milk and mushed through bagged popcorn with Pam-sprayed hands. Wet marshmallows are impaled on sticks before being wrapped in dyed fondant, an idea stolen from "fancy-dancy department stores." It's time to reminisce about making sugar-cornsurp-butter-and-cherry-Jello lollipops for pep rallies.

I hadn't noticed until this episode that Auntie has (sorry, had) a pair of low-hangers that put Pete Burns to shame. They swing and sway in line with her elbows as she makes her way to the edible tablescape.

Throw edible shit everywhere! Your guests can eat the tablescape and then fill their pockets before they leave. Oh, but that candy-looking confetti that's covering everything? Yeah, don't eat that. It's SOAP. "You can pop this in the bathtub after the party and wash all this candy out of your little girl's hair!"

She should have had kids, she's so childish herself. But you need a good husband or partner for that and she's never had one.

R148, no. Many straight people - besides gay people - grew up with a shit family and don’t wish to torture children with our inherited bullshit.

[quote]Car-mull candy is microwaved with milk and mushed through bagged popcorn with Pam-sprayed hands. Wet marshmallows are impaled on sticks before being wrapped in dyed fondant, an idea stolen from "fancy-dancy department stores."

I adore our Sandra Lee Troll's powers of description.

More, please!

Didn't she grow up in Wisconsin and have a rough childhood?

R151, they ran out of food and she had to breastfeed three half-siblings. And they had teeth.

What episode was that where she said to cover silk sheets in Pixie Stix? That was a classic bad idea from Aunt Sandy.

r152 Well, Wisconsin is America's Dairyland.

This episode might be the death of me.

First she said she was making buckwheat bullinis (three evenly enunciated syllables).

Then she went to the pantry for the "dump-n-serve" pancake mix and said it doesn't have to be buckwheat dump-n-serve.

"Now, a nice thing to do in this is maybe add a tablespoon or two of cocoa powder." Why would that be nice? Because she knew she was going to top them with...

A thick glob of tapenade ("olla spread"), smoked syamman, dell, and sour cream.

With a lineup like that, the addition of chocolate is the obvious choice.

😘 Everybody doesn't like something

But nobody doesn't like Sara Lee !

[quote] I know, I know.....another Sandra Lee thread

OP, it sounds like you're giving yourself a pat on the back. Don't be so presumptuous.

She just stuck two citronella candles in a birthday cake.

[quote]Salad Chinois — a can of chicken, a can of Chinese vegetables [I had no idea this even existed], and a bag of coleslaw glued together by a Simply Sara-sized glob of mayonnaise, soy sauce, and dry ginger. The resulting mass is dumped onto a plate of lettuce and topped with a can of chow mein noodles and a can of Mandarin oranges.

Not that this recipe isn't disgusting already, but canned chicken is fucking vomitous. I would stay true to the lazy-fat-whore aspect by using fast-food chicken fingers.

She has also used canned POTATOES (which are truly disgusting) to make potato salad.

Oh shut up, bitch is having fun!

[quote]Her advice for a ro'manic proposal? Hide the ring in Bellini sludge.

Please put your hands together and welcome to the stage: BELLINI SLUDGE

When she was married to The Wallet, somebody here posted that she "applied the Semi-Homemade concept to the bedroom" by spitting into a Fleshlight with one hand while checking her email with the other.

I fondly recall her cocktail Christmas tree. She used a giant martini glass for the the treetopper.

[quote]I hadn't noticed until this episode that Auntie has (sorry, had) a pair of low-hangers that put Pete Burns to shame. They swing and sway in line with her elbows as she makes her way to the edible tablescape.

Hence her other nickname, "SLOP" (Sandra Lee, Ol' Pudding Cups")

I’m glad she specified she was using “chocolatey chocolate chips.” As apposed to spinachy chocolate chips, or some such varietal.

[quote]r15 when I saw her Kwanza cake recipe… it was one of the weirdest creations I've ever seen; it's hard to believe it's real.

An in-depth analysis:

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