I know, I know.....another Sandra Lee thread
But she crossed my mind today and I was reminded of this culinary monstrosity. The final cake was almost a foot tall! How do you slice it? How do you serve it? Is this reality? I have so many questions.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 167 | December 23, 2022 12:44 AM |
Two shots of vodka, you said?
by Anonymous | reply 1 | April 24, 2021 10:59 PM |
She was always free pour.
I miss the old lush.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 24, 2021 11:06 PM |
LMAO. I looooove Aunt Sandy ❤️ She looks so pretty in that clip and I love how she just starts laughing out of nowhere. Goddess.
That recipe is so impractical, though. How would you bring it anywhere/cut it/eat it?
by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 24, 2021 11:08 PM |
She does look gorgeous in this clip!
by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 24, 2021 11:15 PM |
She doesn't seem to know the difference between "icing" and "filling."
by Anonymous | reply 5 | April 24, 2021 11:19 PM |
R5 or between jelly and jam! One cannot get hung up on such things in Aunt Sandy’s kitchen. You just have to roll with the punches, laugh it off, and take a big drink of whatever she’s having.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 6 | April 24, 2021 11:23 PM |
Oh lord - all the link everywhere. She is so entertaining for all the wrong - yet right - reasons. You gotta love Aunt Sandy.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 24, 2021 11:28 PM |
I love this broad. What's she up to these days? Bring her back, Food Network! Or actually, preferably even, if she doesn't already she should have her own YouTube channel.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | April 24, 2021 11:30 PM |
As a gayling I never wanted to play with the other kids during the holidays. I wanted to help the moms in the kitchen. You so know she would be an absolute blast to cook holiday dinners with as she got hammered. She’s such a ray of sunshine ☀️
by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 24, 2021 11:30 PM |
R10 you embody the average DL user. We salute you!
by Anonymous | reply 11 | April 24, 2021 11:31 PM |
She and her shitty recipes need to make a comeback now that she's dumped the Italian scumbag.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 25, 2021 1:58 AM |
So her version of a 24-layer cake has only 8 layers? And, it uses a boxed mix? That's some pretty lazy baking, if you ask me!
by Anonymous | reply 14 | April 25, 2021 1:44 PM |
Sandra Lee is a nobody here in the U.K., so when I saw her Kwanza cake recipe, I thought it was a comedian doing a (bad) satirical comedy short. It was one of the weirdest creations I've ever seen; it's hard to believe it's real.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | April 25, 2021 1:55 PM |
Too bad that old booze bag broke up with Gov. Andy. If she were still around, maybe he wouldn't be in so much trouble for harassing his employees and other women.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | April 25, 2021 2:22 PM |
I'm still baffled at how this bitch and Rachel Ray got shows on Food network.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | April 25, 2021 2:46 PM |
I'm sure that her nephew Bryce who would show up every now and then is gay...I'd love to see how he turned out.
A lot of her recipes were not easy to make nor inexpensive.
If you wanna see another abortion in dessert form, I give you her Noel Cake.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 18 | April 25, 2021 2:56 PM |
r15 She's our Fanny Cradock.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | April 25, 2021 3:54 PM |
[quote]A lot of her recipes were not easy to make nor inexpensive.
Forget the recipes--her OTT tablescapes were outrageously pricey.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 20 | April 25, 2021 3:55 PM |
[quote]I'm sure that her nephew Bryce who would show up every now and then is gay...I'd love to see how he turned out.
She was on Celebrity Family Feud with him a year or two ago. He was very...flouncy.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | April 25, 2021 5:12 PM |
When I first read the title I thought it said- another SARA LEE thread- Frozen cakes 🎂 etc
by Anonymous | reply 22 | April 25, 2021 5:30 PM |
I loved the old lush, she brought fun to the Food Network! And unintentional camp! And after she realized that we loved her for it, intentional camp in her holiday specials!
Thank you, OP, I'm home with a fucking broken leg and it's a rainy gray day outside, I'm going to binge on youtube Semi-Homemade episodes, and watch a person who gets all her calories from cocktails try to cook food.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | April 25, 2021 5:38 PM |
If you want some fun, her entire oeuvre is on Discovery+.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | April 25, 2021 5:43 PM |
I wish someone had preserved the wonderful TWOP threads about Aunt Sandy.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | April 25, 2021 5:44 PM |
I still desperately want to know how she entertained as First Lady of New York State.
Did she run down the craft store and make up a totally new themed tablescape every time Cuomo had politicians over? Did she put the official Governor's silver and china on plastic chargers that matched the color scheme? Did she serve anything edible along with the sugary cocktails?
by Anonymous | reply 27 | April 25, 2021 6:04 PM |
R23, binge-watching away.
BITCH JUST SPRINKLED PACKAGED "ITALIAN SEASONING" OVER A FUCKING HUGE PRIME RIB BEFORE CHUCKING IT IN THE OVEN!!!
by Anonymous | reply 28 | April 25, 2021 6:18 PM |
R28, don't ya love that? When I watch her, I always imagine a lit cigarette hanging from her lip while she cooks. It completes the white trash picture.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | April 25, 2021 6:22 PM |
[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 30 | April 25, 2021 6:30 PM |
This was a legendary episode - I wish there was a better copy. Surely she’s in on the joke, right?!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 31 | April 25, 2021 6:32 PM |
I want to love her, and I do think she's in on the joke, but a friend of mine used to work for her (now-defunct) magazine and said she was a nasty, horrid piece of work who was loathed by the staff.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | April 25, 2021 6:35 PM |
She sends her love. I love how Aunt Sandy now refers to her “Fam’Lee”. I think we are all part of that special genealogical line!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 33 | April 25, 2021 6:35 PM |
This article is LOLOLOLOLOL:
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 35 | April 25, 2021 6:47 PM |
She always had some hideous cocktail recipe to share. She also loved to showcase her table settings. What - - did she have a mile-long butler's pantry with thousands of different dishes? Her shortcuts were hilarious, like prechopped, packaged onions, celery, etc. Any dessert she made had far too much sugar involved. She represents diabetes on steroids to me.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | April 25, 2021 7:05 PM |
R36, I believe the hideous cocktails were the point. She threw some crappy food together quickly (semi ho-made), just so there was plenty of time to make and drink a cocktail. That’s why I love her.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | April 25, 2021 7:10 PM |
I could seriously watch her all day. She’s so fun to watch. I love how she bulldozes over this Martha chick when Martha suggests that maybe that’s enough alcohol. Nobody stands between Aunt Sandy and her vodka ❤️
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 39 | April 25, 2021 7:12 PM |
"I'm sure that her nephew Bryce who would show up every now and then is gay..."
Just one look at his pencils will be enough proof.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 40 | April 25, 2021 7:14 PM |
She really brings the Christmas spirit.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 41 | April 25, 2021 7:15 PM |
Here's Bryce...............
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 42 | April 25, 2021 7:16 PM |
According to her IG post above Bryce is her nephew. Apparently, her brother is John Paul (I’m embarrassed I researched this). I guess there IS a gay gene that runs through family trees!
by Anonymous | reply 43 | April 25, 2021 7:19 PM |
Bryce has a girlfriend of four years? (See R33)
by Anonymous | reply 44 | April 25, 2021 7:20 PM |
[quote]I still desperately want to know how she entertained as First Lady of New York State.
They weren't married, so she wasn't the First Lady.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | April 25, 2021 7:20 PM |
I wonder what her gay brother John Paul looks like?!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 46 | April 25, 2021 7:21 PM |
WHET her niece, Danielle--infamous from the roller coaster "I love you, Danielle!" episode?
by Anonymous | reply 47 | April 25, 2021 7:22 PM |
I want to spend Christmas at the Lee house.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 48 | April 25, 2021 7:25 PM |
Has anyone seen this documentary? I’m so curious now.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 49 | April 25, 2021 7:32 PM |
There’s her gay brother on the left.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 50 | April 25, 2021 7:34 PM |
R13, wow, her desserts are NOT my style at all.
However, I think she's marvelous.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | April 25, 2021 7:38 PM |
What I love about her is that she pays for everyone’s college in her family, if necessary, from siblings to nieces and nephews.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | April 25, 2021 7:45 PM |
Aunt Sandy has got some coins!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 53 | April 25, 2021 7:50 PM |
Sandra Lee is no Fanny Cradock, that's for sure!
by Anonymous | reply 54 | April 25, 2021 8:05 PM |
There was some dance mix of Sandra Lee shit in the early 2000s. I had a copy but lost it. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?
by Anonymous | reply 55 | April 25, 2021 8:41 PM |
How did I forget this classic? Naan from pillsbury pizza dough... who knew it was so easy?
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 56 | April 25, 2021 8:45 PM |
All of her catch-phrases <3 Beeyootiful.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 57 | April 25, 2021 8:46 PM |
I do think she and Andrew were cute together. He seems like such a stick in the mud. He needs someone fun like Sandra. I really think it's his loss.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | April 25, 2021 8:50 PM |
"Half-Baked with Sandra Lee"
by Anonymous | reply 59 | April 25, 2021 9:05 PM |
I'm NOT into this Sandra Lee BITCH.
I'm team MARTHA & INA.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | April 25, 2021 9:11 PM |
R18 Gosh, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse she added the twizzlers for decoration.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | April 25, 2021 9:31 PM |
I also read that she was impossible to work for. That sweet, tolerant frau schtick is just that. And BION the Kwanzaa Cake she is notorious for wasn't even her idea; it was one of her assistants that she was so nasty towards.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | April 25, 2021 11:23 PM |
[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 63 | April 26, 2021 1:01 AM |
That big gloppy Noel Cake - made with store-bought spice cake, store-bought frosting, and red licorice...
and all decorated with green food dye...
Her grandmother was a drunk who couldn't cook either
by Anonymous | reply 65 | April 26, 2021 2:05 AM |
There is nothing worse that canned frosting. Yuk.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | April 26, 2021 2:43 AM |
r66 I think Dream Whip is close. (Powdered mix to make fake whipped cream.)
by Anonymous | reply 67 | April 26, 2021 2:58 AM |
Sandy was big on recipes that used store-bought, unfrosted cake layers. I've been shopping for groceries for 50 years, in several parts of the country, and have never once seen a store that sold such a thing.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | April 26, 2021 2:59 AM |
Nothing has ever made me laugh and gag at the same time like watching her make "meatloaf."
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 69 | April 26, 2021 4:03 AM |
r70 and "your regular GROSH-ry store"
by Anonymous | reply 71 | April 26, 2021 4:49 AM |
Isn't it ironic that she basically died from long term anorexia and alcohol abuse? (No carbs whiskey!) To make cakes and sweets all day and then kill yourself over Bobby Darin by not eating? She was pretty until near the end. That's just an accident of nature. Her sons were badly damaged by her and she never could stop puking. Sandra Dee Light. RIP.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | April 26, 2021 5:12 AM |
Auntie's guide to becoming Cher:
Feign speech impediment when saying "whole life"
Flip wig
Poke inner cheek with tongue
Use puff pastry to make pastry puffs
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 73 | April 26, 2021 7:10 AM |
R69 lol. Who could fuck up meatloaf?
by Anonymous | reply 74 | April 26, 2021 7:14 AM |
R65 and the cake support layers still on the cake, topped with a sugar cone! Totally impractical.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | April 26, 2021 7:16 AM |
I can’t find it but there was one cocktail where she literally just poured the drink into a glass and added ice, and that was the whole recipe.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | April 26, 2021 7:17 AM |
Ok I found it. I loooove her personality so much. She’s so bubbly and positive.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 78 | April 26, 2021 7:23 AM |
In r69's link, when she pulls the meatloaf out of the oven, it looks like a miscarriage.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | April 26, 2021 7:26 AM |
You gotta love someone who makes a cocktail tree out of plastic cups. You go girl!
by Anonymous | reply 80 | April 26, 2021 7:29 AM |
[bold]GLUG GLUG GLUG[/bold]
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 81 | April 26, 2021 7:34 AM |
Because of R25 (who is the worst person on DL), I just signed up for Discovery+ thinking I'd casually revisit the nightmare, and how many seasons could she have done anyway? Six? Seven? No. There are FIFTEEN seasons of Semi-Homemade and FIVE of Money Saving Meals. I had no idea that she dragged it out for twenty or so years.
So here we go... Episode 1: Tapas and Wine
Ten seconds in and she's already said, "today's theme: an open-house Buddha bar" and "I'm going to teach you to decorate with sari fabric." Because what could possibly go better with tapas?
by Anonymous | reply 82 | April 26, 2021 7:43 AM |
R82 you have to watch every episode now and post a summary for us. The DL demands it.
by Anonymous | reply 83 | April 26, 2021 7:45 AM |
[quote]R14 So her version of a 24-layer cake has only 8 layers? And, it uses a boxed mix?
She also wants you to use “chocolate-y chocolate chips.”
As opposed to unchocolate-y chips, I guess.
by Anonymous | reply 84 | April 26, 2021 7:47 AM |
I'll be accused of lying and F&Fed into oblivion if I do, R83. Who would believe this is a tapas menu?
Sesame chicken drumettes (equal parts honey and bbq sauce with a drop of "extremely strong" sesame oil)
Sassy sangria ("a great way to use up wine that's been sitting maybe on the counter or the tabletop for a couple of days")
White wine coolers (sugar, wine, and a can of peaches slopped into Moroccan tea glasses)
Black bean quesadillas (can of refried beans, jar of salsa, bag of shredded cheese; served with store-bought guacamole with big glob of sour cream mixed in)
Oriental pork wrappers (Jimmy Dean sausage!)
...and a cheese plate (she went to school in Wsconsin and cheese is fntastic)
by Anonymous | reply 85 | April 26, 2021 8:43 AM |
[quote]Sassy sangria ("a great way to use up wine that's been sitting maybe on the counter or the tabletop for a couple of days")
As if she'd ever have leftover wine.
by Anonymous | reply 86 | April 26, 2021 2:53 PM |
Found on Primetimer (successor to TWOP): Aunt Sandy's slow-cooker "bread pudding" recipe:
[quote]She put chunks of cinnamon raisin bread, canned apple pie filling, sugar, packets of maple brown sugar oatmeal, eggs, cream, and rum extract into a slow cooker. The overly sweet horror of that was beginning to sink in when she made a topping. She used powdered whipped cream (Dream Whip) and mixed it with ginger ale and poured this over the cooked "bread pudding."
by Anonymous | reply 87 | April 26, 2021 3:04 PM |
Aunt Sandy is laughing at all you haters while counting all that cheese she's made. She says, eat my semi-homemade pussy bitches!
by Anonymous | reply 89 | April 26, 2021 5:22 PM |
"[R66] I think Dream Whip is close. (Powdered mix to make fake whipped cream.)"
Fun fact: When I was in grade school, one day the teacher started talking about chemicals and additives in our food and the dangers of processed food (yes, this was in California). She held a contest, told everyone to go home and rummage through the kitchen cabinet, and find the packaged food with the largest number of ingredients and chemicals.
The winner was, [drum roll], of course, a box of DREAM WHIP!
by Anonymous | reply 90 | April 26, 2021 7:13 PM |
aigs
aigstract (extract)
cookie spray (cooking spray)
expresso
fiend herbs (fines herbes)
Gargonzola
gernish
Grandma Nyay
japoltay (chipotle)
marscapone
ulligant
by Anonymous | reply 91 | April 26, 2021 7:35 PM |
Episode 2: Dinner Party
"My girlfriend Sandy has this great line about whipped topping that you make at home. She calls it whip-n-chill. I think it's so funny."
I played it back twice to make sure I hadn't misheard and missed the funny part, but that quote is verbatim.
by Anonymous | reply 93 | April 26, 2021 7:49 PM |
[quote]vinegar-ette
Jeff Mauro says this too. And some of his other Food Network cohorts say "holla-PEEN-yo." Drives me nuts.
by Anonymous | reply 94 | April 26, 2021 9:16 PM |
[quote]"My girlfriend Sandy has this great line about whipped topping that you make at home. She calls it whip-n-chill. I think it's so funny."
Jell-O used to make a product called Whip-N-Chill.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 95 | April 26, 2021 9:18 PM |
I want to have R91's babies.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | April 26, 2021 9:19 PM |
Aunt Sandy was born in LA and grew up in Washington State and Wisconsin, but she sounds more like she's from Philly or Bawlmer.
by Anonymous | reply 97 | April 26, 2021 10:18 PM |
How did she come to be known as “Aunt Sandy”? I love it but I’m just curious.
by Anonymous | reply 98 | April 26, 2021 11:44 PM |
^ I think that got started on TWOP (Television Without Pity).
by Anonymous | reply 99 | April 27, 2021 12:14 AM |
She has a metric crapton of nieces and nephews. That’s what they call her.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | April 27, 2021 1:28 AM |
Some posters called her that on the old Food Network boards, which pre-dated TWoP (at least to me -- I didn't discover TWoP until the FN boards were closed and I had to find somewhere else to bitch). She was reviled on the FN boards, as was Rachael Ray.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | April 27, 2021 1:35 AM |
Aunt Sandy's Dump Thanksgiving
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 102 | April 27, 2021 1:37 AM |
I just had a terrifying thought: the Jazzy Vegetarian adapting her recipes to make them "healthy." And then writing some songs about them.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 103 | April 27, 2021 1:41 AM |
Look, she grew up on food stamps (she talks about it openly and also advocated very loudly about cuts to SNAP) and was basically left to raise her brothers and sisters. Then she invented some chintzy decorating tool for fraus when she was in college and made a shit-ton of money selling it on infomercials and QVC. Respect that, if nothing else.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | April 27, 2021 1:44 AM |
r104 And then she married and divorced The Wallet, and then hooked up with The Ladder (Cuomo.)
by Anonymous | reply 105 | April 27, 2021 1:44 AM |
I mean, she used to do Halloween specials where she dressed up in Bob Mackie gowns. She was living a lot of drag queens' best life.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | April 27, 2021 1:46 AM |
Sandra Lee Rapes Thanksgiving
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 107 | April 27, 2021 1:46 AM |
R97 sounds pretty standard Pacific Northwest to me.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | April 27, 2021 1:56 AM |
[quote]Because of [R25] (who is the worst person on DL), I just signed up for Discovery+ thinking I'd casually revisit the nightmare, and how many seasons could she have done anyway?
I'm sorry. The rabbit hole is deep. You can treat yourself to watching the adorable Adam Berry hunt ghosts while a series of purses fall out of Chip Coffey's mouth.
She had two other short-lived shows, one called Sandra's Restaurant Remakes (she did a decent amount of cooking on that one) and Taverns, Lounges, and Clubs, which was more of a travel show. I'm not kidding when I say the latter was actually a great format for her. She got to travel around and drink and crack jokes with patrons and bar staff.
by Anonymous | reply 110 | April 27, 2021 1:58 AM |
The layer cake recipe in the original post came from the Restaurant Remake show.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | April 27, 2021 2:04 AM |
This video is fun. Crystal is her jam. And more shout-outs to her gays. I love Aunt Sandy!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 112 | April 27, 2021 2:39 AM |
The Noel Cake - Chocolate and spice cake together? The taste would be overwhelming; adding that awful canned frosting could only make it even nastier.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | April 27, 2021 2:47 AM |
And of course Aunt Sandy’s signature dessert. KWANZAA CAKE!
I think I’ll be making this for DL’s Holiday Party this year.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 114 | April 27, 2021 3:10 AM |
I didn't realize she'd converted to Judaism for the Wallet.
by Anonymous | reply 115 | April 27, 2021 3:55 AM |
[quote]This video is fun. Crystal is her jam. And more shout-outs to her gays. I love Aunt Sandy!
Honestly? Her house was (I assume she lost it in the "divorce" from Cuomo) pretty tasteful.
by Anonymous | reply 116 | April 27, 2021 3:59 AM |
Why is a successful woman reduced to the men she fucked? I've never heard of Sandra Lee, but Mario Cuomo is no prince or prize. He's not even rich. Just a cheating lying corrupt schmuck who is slightly LESS hideous than his grotesque PIG younger brother. On CNN.
Sandra seems dumb and blonde and not very talented as a cook. All the more reason to praise her success! Who doesn't love chemicals?
by Anonymous | reply 117 | April 27, 2021 4:01 AM |
[quote]See Inside Sandra Lee’s New York Estate That 'Smells Like Cookies And Feels Like Heaven' | PeopleTV
For cookie sniffers!
by Anonymous | reply 118 | April 27, 2021 4:15 AM |
r117 She wasn't with MARIO Cuomo, moron.
by Anonymous | reply 119 | April 27, 2021 4:15 AM |
"Why is a successful woman reduced to the men she fucked?"
Well it DID take about 100 posts before we got onto her love life!
by Anonymous | reply 120 | April 27, 2021 4:53 AM |
R117 is why they hate us.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | April 27, 2021 4:59 AM |
Being an ancient white racist misogynist fag is why they hate YOU R121! Get your facts right.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | April 27, 2021 5:06 AM |
How do YOU know she wasn't with Mario Cuomo R119? They all look alike.
by Anonymous | reply 123 | April 27, 2021 6:23 AM |
Mother always loathed her and called her a slut for putting her tits on full display all the time. Then as soon as she found out about her breast cancer, she did a total 180.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | April 28, 2021 5:17 PM |
She was with Andrew Cuomo, not the ugly dad Mario...sources say that he made her sign a confidentiality agreement.
by Anonymous | reply 126 | April 29, 2021 1:59 AM |
They all look alike. Cuomos.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | April 29, 2021 2:03 AM |
S1, E5 — Desserts and Drinks, aka Dustbowl Memories
[quote]My grandma used to make clothes; make beautiful high-fashion things that stars would wear to the Emmys and to the Oscars.
[quote]She would like to put on these elaborate productions and she would bribe us with mashed bananas and maple syrup all over them. So we would put on these little plays and little skits as children.
[quote]I’m sure it was absolutely adorable, and all we ever wanted were these fabulous mashed bananas. So I grew up thinking bananas were always just a treat instead of an everyday item.
And now she’s apologizing to a college friend’s family for the time she and their other friends drank rum punch on the beach all day and then “fell asleep literally in our plates at the dinner table with this girl’s family.”
Just starting: Sexy Soiree. She just left the pantry with canned Chinese vegetables, canned peaches, and canned chicken and now she’s showing us the old jars, bottles, and vases she has filled with water and red food coloring.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | April 29, 2021 5:27 AM |
[quote]Just starting: Sexy Soiree. She just left the pantry with canned Chinese vegetables, canned peaches, and canned chicken and now she’s showing us the old jars, bottles, and vases she has filled with water and red food coloring.
Please keep us posted on this sexiest of Sandra soirees!
by Anonymous | reply 129 | April 29, 2021 5:36 AM |
It seemed so promising, R129, but it was the most boring episode yet. The blood bottles didn't even make it into the tablescape.
Salad Chinois — a can of chicken, a can of Chinese vegetables [I had no idea this even existed], and a bag of coleslaw glued together by a Simply Sara-sized glob of mayonnaise, soy sauce, and dry ginger. The resulting mass is dumped onto a plate of lettuce and topped with a can of chow mein noodles and a can of Mandarin oranges.
Syamman with chive sauce — syamman inexplicably broiled on a glass plate and decorated with "very gourmet" stripes of sauce made from tartar sauce, mustard, sour cream, and chives. Can also be made with lox. She refers to lox as "them" and "those," as if she's talking about locks.
Tropical rice — boil-in-a-bag rice mixed with tropical trail mix from a gas station checkout.
Fondue — cookies, frozen pound cake, and fruit "in its own pedestal!" dipped into chocolate chips melted with butter and heavy cream. "These are my husband's favorite cookies. He LOVES packaged foods, so it's pretty much a marriage made in heaven!" Yeah, get back to us on that one.
Bellinis — canned peaches blended with their syrup, plus Korbel.
"My tablescape is so ro'manic and so beautiful, we might not even make it upstairs."
Her advice for a ro'manic proposal? Hide the ring in Bellini sludge. When she gets to the bottom of the glass, "guaranteed tears." That part is in the video below.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 130 | April 29, 2021 8:18 AM |
I love the way she says lllllemon.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 131 | April 29, 2021 8:21 AM |
R94 Thanks for ruining my evening by reminding me how much I detest Jeff Mauro!
by Anonymous | reply 132 | April 29, 2021 9:25 AM |
[quote]Just starting: Sexy Soiree. She just left the pantry with canned Chinese vegetables, canned peaches, and canned chicken
Wait until she hauls out the canned potatoes to make potato salad.
by Anonymous | reply 133 | April 29, 2021 1:41 PM |
In one of the later seasons, she had a recurring bit where she'd have fans come onto the show and semi-homemake a recipe of their own--which were all more complicated that her schtick. One of them was a (fairly cute) guy, and she made a comment like "Oh, we need to find you a wife!"
Gurl, please.
by Anonymous | reply 134 | April 29, 2021 3:29 PM |
[quote]Wait until she hauls out the canned potatoes to make potato salad.
Or the ice cream treat that looked like a baked potato.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 135 | April 29, 2021 3:31 PM |
R135, Martha Stewart did the ice cream spud in 2006 -- Sandy's Youtube video is dated 2009, so I assume she was ripping off Martha rather than vice versa (as if!). Don't know what Martha's excuse was for doing this.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 136 | April 29, 2021 3:49 PM |
r134 Remember the tall black woman who looked like a drag queen?
by Anonymous | reply 137 | April 29, 2021 3:55 PM |
"Tropical rice — boil-in-a-bag rice mixed with tropical trail mix"
You made that up!!!
Please say you did...
by Anonymous | reply 138 | April 29, 2021 4:24 PM |
I could say I made it up, but I’d be lying.
Tropical Rice:
1 bag boil in bag white rice
1/4 cup dried tropical fruit mix
1/4 cup dry roasted peanuts
Prepare rice according to package instructions, adding dried fruit halfway through the cooking time. Remove rice from heat. Stir in fruit mixture and nuts. Transfer rice to serving bowl.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 139 | April 29, 2021 6:24 PM |
That’s bad even by her standards.
by Anonymous | reply 140 | April 29, 2021 7:00 PM |
Here's the recipe with the canned potatoes, which I tried once when I was a poor, starving student. They were one of the most disgusting things I've had in my mouth.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 141 | April 29, 2021 7:12 PM |
[quote]Salad Chinois — a can of chicken, a can of Chinese vegetables [I had no idea this even existed], and a bag of coleslaw glued together by a Simply Sara-sized glob of mayonnaise, soy sauce, and dry ginger. The resulting mass is dumped onto a plate of lettuce and topped with a can of chow mein noodles and a can of Mandarin oranges.
And don't forget, she called the Chinese lanterns she used for her tablescape, "paper balloons". You cannot make this shit up.
by Anonymous | reply 142 | April 29, 2021 11:56 PM |
Also don't forget "My Buddha, she's faux" -- I don't remember which culture's cuisine was being destroyed in that episode but I'll never forget the quote.
by Anonymous | reply 143 | April 30, 2021 12:09 AM |
Ah, yes, when I think of the tropics, I think of Chinook salmon.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | April 30, 2021 12:18 AM |
That "eggy potato salad" requires not only canned potatoes, but "2 hard-boiled eggs (from refrigerated or deli section), chopped."
The expression "She can't even boil an egg" was invented for Aunt Sandy!
by Anonymous | reply 145 | April 30, 2021 12:20 AM |
Wiki says she’s been breast-cancer free since 2016.
Does that mean she’s in the clear next year?
by Anonymous | reply 146 | April 30, 2021 12:31 AM |
S1, E7: Candy
She starts by explaining how easy it was to create a "Barbie kitchen" for Miss Stephanie's candy party. Sure, it's easy when you already have Sexy Soiree's blood bottles all over your kitchen. In this episode, the red water has been diluted and now it's Barbie pink. Her other tip is decorating with glass dessert bowls filled with dried red beans.
Car-mull candy is microwaved with milk and mushed through bagged popcorn with Pam-sprayed hands. Wet marshmallows are impaled on sticks before being wrapped in dyed fondant, an idea stolen from "fancy-dancy department stores." It's time to reminisce about making sugar-cornsurp-butter-and-cherry-Jello lollipops for pep rallies.
I hadn't noticed until this episode that Auntie has (sorry, had) a pair of low-hangers that put Pete Burns to shame. They swing and sway in line with her elbows as she makes her way to the edible tablescape.
Throw edible shit everywhere! Your guests can eat the tablescape and then fill their pockets before they leave. Oh, but that candy-looking confetti that's covering everything? Yeah, don't eat that. It's SOAP. "You can pop this in the bathtub after the party and wash all this candy out of your little girl's hair!"
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 147 | April 30, 2021 1:15 AM |
She should have had kids, she's so childish herself. But you need a good husband or partner for that and she's never had one.
by Anonymous | reply 148 | April 30, 2021 1:26 AM |
R148, no. Many straight people - besides gay people - grew up with a shit family and don’t wish to torture children with our inherited bullshit.
by Anonymous | reply 149 | April 30, 2021 1:28 AM |
[quote]Car-mull candy is microwaved with milk and mushed through bagged popcorn with Pam-sprayed hands. Wet marshmallows are impaled on sticks before being wrapped in dyed fondant, an idea stolen from "fancy-dancy department stores."
I adore our Sandra Lee Troll's powers of description.
More, please!
by Anonymous | reply 150 | April 30, 2021 1:40 AM |
Didn't she grow up in Wisconsin and have a rough childhood?
by Anonymous | reply 151 | April 30, 2021 2:45 AM |
R151, they ran out of food and she had to breastfeed three half-siblings. And they had teeth.
by Anonymous | reply 152 | April 30, 2021 6:09 AM |
What episode was that where she said to cover silk sheets in Pixie Stix? That was a classic bad idea from Aunt Sandy.
by Anonymous | reply 153 | April 30, 2021 4:55 PM |
r152 Well, Wisconsin is America's Dairyland.
by Anonymous | reply 154 | April 30, 2021 6:45 PM |
This episode might be the death of me.
First she said she was making buckwheat bullinis (three evenly enunciated syllables).
Then she went to the pantry for the "dump-n-serve" pancake mix and said it doesn't have to be buckwheat dump-n-serve.
"Now, a nice thing to do in this is maybe add a tablespoon or two of cocoa powder." Why would that be nice? Because she knew she was going to top them with...
A thick glob of tapenade ("olla spread"), smoked syamman, dell, and sour cream.
With a lineup like that, the addition of chocolate is the obvious choice.
by Anonymous | reply 155 | May 2, 2021 6:20 AM |
😘 Everybody doesn't like something
But nobody doesn't like Sara Lee !
by Anonymous | reply 156 | May 2, 2021 6:28 AM |
[quote] I know, I know.....another Sandra Lee thread
OP, it sounds like you're giving yourself a pat on the back. Don't be so presumptuous.
by Anonymous | reply 157 | May 2, 2021 6:31 AM |
She just stuck two citronella candles in a birthday cake.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 158 | May 3, 2021 9:10 AM |
[quote]Salad Chinois — a can of chicken, a can of Chinese vegetables [I had no idea this even existed], and a bag of coleslaw glued together by a Simply Sara-sized glob of mayonnaise, soy sauce, and dry ginger. The resulting mass is dumped onto a plate of lettuce and topped with a can of chow mein noodles and a can of Mandarin oranges.
Not that this recipe isn't disgusting already, but canned chicken is fucking vomitous. I would stay true to the lazy-fat-whore aspect by using fast-food chicken fingers.
by Anonymous | reply 159 | October 22, 2022 11:01 AM |
She has also used canned POTATOES (which are truly disgusting) to make potato salad.
by Anonymous | reply 160 | October 22, 2022 2:05 PM |
Oh shut up, bitch is having fun!
by Anonymous | reply 161 | October 22, 2022 10:51 PM |
[quote]Her advice for a ro'manic proposal? Hide the ring in Bellini sludge.
Please put your hands together and welcome to the stage: BELLINI SLUDGE
by Anonymous | reply 162 | October 22, 2022 11:45 PM |
When she was married to The Wallet, somebody here posted that she "applied the Semi-Homemade concept to the bedroom" by spitting into a Fleshlight with one hand while checking her email with the other.
by Anonymous | reply 163 | October 22, 2022 11:59 PM |
I fondly recall her cocktail Christmas tree. She used a giant martini glass for the the treetopper.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | October 23, 2022 7:12 AM |
[quote]I hadn't noticed until this episode that Auntie has (sorry, had) a pair of low-hangers that put Pete Burns to shame. They swing and sway in line with her elbows as she makes her way to the edible tablescape.
Hence her other nickname, "SLOP" (Sandra Lee, Ol' Pudding Cups")
by Anonymous | reply 165 | December 23, 2022 12:23 AM |
I’m glad she specified she was using “chocolatey chocolate chips.” As apposed to spinachy chocolate chips, or some such varietal.
by Anonymous | reply 166 | December 23, 2022 12:41 AM |
[quote]r15 when I saw her Kwanza cake recipe… it was one of the weirdest creations I've ever seen; it's hard to believe it's real.
An in-depth analysis:
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 167 | December 23, 2022 12:44 AM |
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pa3TmqOorZ6csm%2BvzqZmraCimq6le5FxanJtZ2d%2FbrWMpKWor12eeqy6zrBlZ2ZeY66vu9OhnKtlo5a7pb7AZqOenV2ptbOxwJ0%3D