Has Ezra Miller Had Any Boyfriends? He Came Out as Queer & Dated A-Listers

Ezra Miller made their sexual identity known early in their career, something they had been sure of since their schooling career. As they cemented their queer identity, there was once a time a former fling left them confused about it.

During a chat with Out in 2012, Ezra Miller came out as queer. It was after they co-starred in "Perks of Being a Wallflower," alongside acclaimed actors Emma Watson and Logan Lerman.

In the novel-based film, Miller portrayed a gay high school senior named Patrick Stewart. In addition to being queer, Miller added that they had several friends of varying sexualities and genders, but, at the time, they were "very much in love" with no one.

Ezra Miller poses at the Burberry closing party for Anne Imhof's Exhibition 'Natures Mortes' at Palais de Tokyo on October 18, 2021, in Paris, France | Source: Getty Images

Miller was 20 years old and said they were still trying to figure relationships out. They remarked that looking for love at that age was an "aggressively pursued" romanticized idea and that most of their peers weren't ready for it, as they reflected:

"I don't know if it's responsible for kids my age to be so aggressively pursuing monogamous binds, because I don't think we're ready for them. [...] Then [when] we find what we think is love — even if it is love — we do not have the tools."

Miller added that, given the lack of the said tools and responsibility, the risk of unintentionally hurting others was higher. Therefore, they tried their best not to break people's hearts because of their lack of responsibility.

Ezra Miller poses at the after show party for the Alexander McQueen SS22 Womenswear Show at The Standard on October 12, 2021, in London, England | Source: Getty Images

They later clarified that that was their position regarding relationships with people of any gender. Ten years after this Out interview, during one of their recent arrests, Miller came out as a non-binary transgender person whose pronouns were they/them/theirs.

Ezra Miller Knew They Were Attracted to Boys Early On

While in school, Miller struggled with a speech impediment. They joined the New York Metropolitan Children's Chorus to learn to control their stuttering, but their peers still mocked them for it. Although they entered the arts then, Miller also experimented with their sexuality.

Ezra Miller poses at Time 100 Next at Pier 17 on November 14, 2019, in New York City | Source: Getty Images

They confessed during their Out interview that they were "kissing boys" and that they had a best friend with whom they fooled around. However, the high school fling didn't end well, as he recalled:

"He had some macho realization that led him to believe I was the problem. So I went from having a stutter, to being a totally gay little opera singer to being, like, a really confused queer adolescent."

Ezra Miller is pictured at the photocall for the 'URBAN DECAY' stayNAKED launch event on August 20, 2019, in Seoul, South Korea | Source: Getty Images

Miller then dated an older girl, but after she graduated, they felt outcasted once again. That was until they joined the cast of "Perks of Being a Wallflower." They recalled how accepted their castmates were, saying:

"I didn't get scapegoated. I wasn't the oddball. All of the other kids who made this film are super weird, also! I've never been accepted like that, outside of, like, [expletive] Burning Man."

Although Miller has been open about being attracted to men, they have yet to be publicly linked to any male lovers. In 2018, they touched again on their gender identity, saying they identified as neither man nor woman, adding that they "barely identified as a human."

Ezra Miller poses at the Saint Laurent Womenswear Spring/Summer 2020 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on September 24, 2019, in Paris, France | Source: Getty Images

Ezra Miller Dated Zoe Kravitz before Coming Out

Miller and Zoe Kravitz met when they co-starred as love interests in the film "Beware the Gonzo," where Miller played Eddie "Gonzo" Gilman and Kravitz played Evie Wallace. The pair "clicked right away," as Kravitz also recalled:

"Ezra had the part and we met, before I was even hired, just to get a chemistry read, and there was chemistry. We became best friends immediately, and still are."

They dated briefly in 2010 and were spotted together at the Tribeca Film Festival to promote "Beware the Gonzo." Although they were "friendly," they were seen kissing at a bar the following evening after promoting Miller's other film, "Every Day."

Zoë Kravitz and Ezra Miller are pictured at the "Every Day" premiere after party during the 9th Annual Tribeca Film Festival at 675 Bar on April 24, 2010, in New York City | Source: Getty Images

However, Miller's relationship with Lenny Kravitz's daughter was short-lived, and it is said their split was amicable. Still, they remained on good terms and co-starred again in the "Fantastic Beasts" movie franchise.

Ezra Miller Only Publicly Dated Women after Identifying as Queer

The actor dated a woman named Erin Urb in 2016 when he started playing Flash. She spoke to Vanity Fair in September 2022 following Miller's frequent arrests for disorderly conduct and accusations of physical and verbal abuse.

Urb revealed that she and Miller had a "deep love" and were even engaged at some point. She recalled Miller being "good" to her and said the Miller she knew was "never violent or physically" abusive toward anyone.

However, during their relationship, there were some pitfalls. Urb said she often called Miller out for their disrespect, but they would refuse to take accountability and call her abusive. They allegedly convinced Urb and their mutual friends to think she was abusive.

Miller would later end their romance with her after a spiritual advisor convinced them she was a parasite. These events led to years-long emotional turmoil for Urb, who felt some relief after hearing about the allegations of violence against her ex, thinking perhaps she wasn't "the abusive one" after all.

Yet, regardless of how Miller treated her, she said she could have handled things better. Despite their complicated history, Urb said she would always love Miller, but she would no longer make excuses for their behavior.

Miller was also romantically involved with actress Shailene Woodley in February 2016. The former couple attended red-carpet-events together a few times, but their relationship was brief. Still, they seemed happy with each other during their short romance.

Although Miller's love life has been illustrious, his recent controversial arrests threatened his career. Some charges included Miller shouting obscenities in a bar when they started singing "Shallow" by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper and attacking a 32-year-old man playing darts.

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